In a million years....

Not in a million years would I have imagined myself saying so many of the things that have rolled off my tongue as a parent.

The list continues to grow.....

- Don't put your toothbrush on your feet.
- Get off the pole.
- Stop licking your snot.
- Do NOT wipe your nose on my skirt.
- Get your hands out of your pants.
- Get down. We do not climb walls.
- Tyler, Batman is a good guy....he doesn't strangle babies. (it was just a babydoll, but still)
- Stop laughing...she's having a seizure!! (to my 18 month old when my chihuahua was seizing on the kitchen floor)

Mama Duck

It's springtime, one of my favorite times of year. The grass is green, the weather is beautiful, the ducks and all their little ducklings are out at the park waiting for us to share a tasty treat with them. As we've visited the ducks a few times this week, I've noticed something.

First of all, we see Mama Duck and a flock of little quackers following her everywhere she goes. Where's Daddy? Chillin' on the pond. She devotedly leads them across the pond, onto the grass, out to get a snack, back in the water, always alert and ready to protect them from any harm. She's calm under pressure for the most part, but every now and then, she'll trip over one of her darlings one too many times and her wings start flapping; her voice starts wailing, "QUACK, QUAAAACKKKK! QU QU QU AAAACKKKKK!" as if to say, "GET OUT OF MY WAY, you little STINKER! I am doing the best I can here, and YOU need to GIVE ME SOME SPACE!!" I feel her pain. I know I'm putting "words" in the Mama Duck's "quack," but I think I understand her quite well.

This week (spring break) has been amazing. I LOVE my kids so, so much. Like Mama Duck, I take my ducklings everywhere; I show them the world the best I can; I protect them; I love them; I stay calm most of the time. They FOLLOW me everywhere. Literally. Do I take a shower alone? No. Do I pee alone? No. Do I cook dinner alone? Well, I don't really cook, but I prepare, and NO, I don't do that alone either. There are always 3 sweet little babies under my feet. I turn - I step on someone. I turn the other way - I step on someone else. It's wonderful and exhausting all at once.

I love being a Mama Duck, even if it makes me a little crazy sometimes. I might lose my cool occasionally, but I love my little ducklings more than anything in the world.

Tyler and Baby Erin

Tyler is so interested in Baby Erin and my tummy. Here's the conversation we have multiple times a day.....

Tyler: (pointing to my baby bump) What's this?
Mommy: That's Baby Erin.
Tyler: My kiss her?
Mommy: Yes, you can kiss her.
He holds my tummy with both hands and implies that I need to raise my shirt up a bit, and then he gently kisses Baby Erin. So precious.

A few days ago, Tyler's quest to kiss Baby Erin took another turn. I began explaining to him that someday Baby Erin would come out and he could hold her and kiss her and love her as much as he wants. I was going to talk about how important it being a big brother is, but I didn't get there before Tyler exclaimed, "She's going to POP out of here!!!!" pointing to my belly button.

"Oh, no no no," I explained, "Dr. Koster will take her out when she's ready. There won't be any popping! But she can't come out yet. She has to grow and get bigger, and Mommy has to get bigger too."

Tyler lovingly placed his hand on my tummy, looked into my eyes, and quietly said, "But Mommy, you already big."

That was the end of that conversation. :0)

Thankful

When asked this morning in Sunday School what he was most thankful for, Tyler replied with "CHRISTMAS!!!" He's a boy after my own heart.

I personally feel most thankful when I look into my child's eyes and see a joyful, healthy little one staring back at me. I'm thankful that every time I look at Tyler or Piper, I see Mark in their faces. I see his eyes, his nose, his lips. I see his smile and his sense of humor. I see the blessings that we've been given together.

And then I feel scared.....scared that I'm going to mess things up in some way. Scared that I don't know what's next. Scared that my everyday choices and decisions will not be the best for my children. Scared that I have no control over so many things.

So I pray. I pray thanking God for the blessings He's given me and that He will guide me and make me worthy of the gifts He's so graciously placed in my life. I pray for His protection, His Love, His grace. I pray for His peace, His guidance, His wisdom. And most of all I pray we will always hold tight in knowing and experiencing the true, unconditional love of God.

Dreaming.....

I am dreaming.....it's a crazy, wonderful, insane dream. See, I kind of love this Coach bag. No, I REALLY love this Coach bag....even though it's insanely expensive and impractical, I love it, love it, love it, and wish I could have it. I really wish I could have it.

But here's the thing. I can't spent $600 on a bag, even though it's embarrassingly tempting. Instead, I'll be saving my money to get this sweet little gift sometime in March or April. :0)



It's a much better gift if you think about it, but can you blame me for being just a little sad about not having such a precious piece of artwork hanging from my shoulder??

Soccer

Tyler recently started playing soccer. Tyler's team, the Barracudas, mostly consists of children who have already played soccer for a few seasons. Tyler's the youngest one on the team, and he's most definitely the comic relief for all parties watching the game. He has NO CLUE what he's supposed to be doing.

Tyler wants nothing to do with the large mass of children chasing the ball. He prefers to stay right by his coach's side and mimic everything Coach Eric does. If Coach gets down on one knee, Tyler gets down on one knee. If Coach stands still to watch the team, Tyler stands still to watch the team. If Coach picks up the ball, Tyler picks it up next. No clue.

Rather than kick the ball during the game, Tyler prefers to kick the ball during time-out when no one else can challenge him or when the teams are lined up waiting for the whistle to blow. Tyler has no use for whistles. The ball is there, untouched, and he goes for it. The poor ref has to explain to Tyler at least 5 times every game that he can't kick the ball until the whistle blows. I can only imagine Tyler's thought process when the ref is trying to explain the rules to him...."Uh, whatever. It's a ball. I kick the ball. I run. What whistle? That guy doesn't know how it's done."

While the other players are swiftly trying to score goals, Tyler amuses himself (and us parents) by walking on the field lines like they are balance beams, swinging from the top of the goal (they're short for the little players), and sitting indian-style inside the goal when he gets tired. For some reason, he also like to pull a Michael Jackson and hold his privates when he gets real excited during the game.

Hopefully, Tyler will learn the ways of the game and enjoy soccer just as much as he does now. He will ALWAYS be my comic relief, my crazy one, and my special little man.

Moments of Adorability

As a mom, there are so many times during the day when I think, "Oh, I need to write that down...that was adorable," and then I never get around to it. With two toddlers, two jobs, three dogs, and a baby on the way, I hardly have time to even use the bathroom.

Just yesterday, I walked into the hall bathroom only to find Piper sitting next to the open cabinet with a roll of toilet paper on the floor and scraps of it stuck to her mouth and fingers. She looked like she had just plucked a chicken! That sweet baby will literally put ANYTHING in her mouth.

Tyler and I have some "mommy and me" time every morning before I go to work since he's such an early riser. The other day, we were just sitting in the rocking chair enjoying our special time when I whispered, "I love my Tyler." He promptly responded with "I love my mama." An inner warmth swept over my entire body. Honestly, Tyler usually just repeats what I say instead of reciprocating an appropriate response, so this was very exciting on several levels. Not only was he displaying a more socially acceptable way of communicating, he was completely and voluntarily expressing his love for me.

I love my children and every minute I spend with them is such a blessing.