Real Housewives??

I am a "real housewife." I have seen those shows...."The Real Housewives of Orange County," "The Real Housewives of New York City," and "The Read Housewives of Atlanta," and I am here to say that they are NOT REAL HOUSEWIVES!!!! Let me tell you what a real housewife deals with. Let me share just a glimpse of my day today.

This morning was great...I dusted, mopped, vacuumed, the house was clean and the kids were happy. So I'm having a moment to myself talking to a friend on the phone. Tyler was content in my room watching a video and Piper was resting peacefully in my lap. Well, after about 5 minutes of sitting in the study, I walk into the living room to sit down and continue my conversation when low and behold, Tyler is no longer watching his movie. He's having a grand old time picking up the dog food with a spatula and tossing it all over the kitchen. There was literally dog food ALL OVER MY KITCHEN!!!!!!!!

I took a deep breath, put Piper in her bouncy seat, and calmly told Tyler to help me pick up the dog food. I don't have a broom, so Tyler and I cleaned it all up with our bare hands. Yuck. (I will be investing in a broom very soon!!) Now he had no trouble spreading the entire bowl all over the kitchen in a matter of minutes, but when told to pick it up and put it all back in the bowl, he did it piece by piece, and anytime I turned my back on him, he was back in my room watching Madagascar! NOW he wants to watch the movie. UGH!!! In the meantime, Piper, my little angel baby who hardly ever cries, is wailing in her bouncy seat.

So we finally get all the food picked up and I grab the mop to clean the floor real quick so I can hurry up and pick up poor little Piper. I finish my second mopping job for the day, put the mop away, and return to the kitchen and swoop Piper up in my arms as fast as I can. She hushes immediately. Then I notice Emma, our Golden Retriever, looks a little guilty....and guilty she is. She has pooped right in the middle of the kitchen floor that I just mopped. Piper goes back to the bouncy seat wailing, and I have to drag my 80 pound dog outside because she refuses to go on her own. Stupid dog. Her poop is like freaking horse poop. A house should never see this much poop. It can't possible go in the toilet, so I get my gloves, a trash bag and a roll of paper towels and start picking it up while trying not to hurl - I don't need another mess to clean up. The whole time I'm cleaning the mess, Tyler is yelling, "Mama, more juice. MAMA, MORE JUICE!" and Piper is crying so hard she can't breathe. I want to cry too, but I laugh instead. After practically boiling my hands in the sink, I cuddle up with Piper and Tyler in the rocking chair for an afternoon nap. I don't think any of those REAL HOUSEWIVES have ever had an afternoon quite like the one I just had.

REAL HOUSEWIVES don't pay cash for a new Escalade or buy their daughters $1500 handbags. REAL HOUSEWIVES don't spend their days taking bubble baths and pretending to clean the house in a sexy maid's costume. REAL HOUSEWIVES deal with screaming, misbehaving children and pooping dogs, and they love every minute of it!! I am a "real housewife."

Love

I was just talking about Mark with a friend tonight and I realized something. He is such a great example of how to love people. He loves me no matter what. He can get mad at me (even though that's very rare) and still love me, and he can forgive so quickly. I think early in our marriage I tried so hard to be perfect because I was afraid he would leave me if I wasn't. I've always been a perfectionist since I was a kid. Anyway, I finally realized that he loved me no matter what and he was committed to me no matter what. I know he will always be here for me...he's my rock. I think he's the best example in my life of God's love. God's love is always there, always forgiving, committed, and even more because He's not restricted by our human limitations.

Setback

Well, Satan is alive and well. After having a pretty good week and feeling a little proud about it, I hit a roadblock yesterday. I got my feelings hurt over something very small, but nevertheless, it hurt my feelings. I knew this was my chance to forgive and move on. Life is short, love the people that are close to you no matter what, no matter what you "feel" like doing. I knew this, and I knew I should pray and ask for God's help, but I wanted to pout. I clammed up, kept to myself the rest of the day, and did not "love boldly," and the saddest thing is, I didn't care. I was blatantly sinning, and I didn't care. Why are things harder on some days than others? I pray that today is a better day.

Charlie Brown's Character

I can't remember the name of that character on Charlie Brown who has the dirt following him everywhere, but I've really focused this week on praying that the Holy Spirit would follow me like that and rub off on the people around me. In dealing with families who have experienced major trauma and horrible loss, I've prayed and prayed for their comfort, that God would just love them and wrap his arms around them so that they would know the healing power of God's love. The little time that I'm with these families, I want my presence to be a comfort to them as well, not in my own power of course, but through the Holy Spirit.

In the midst of dealing with all of the heartache around me, I've been forced to think about how this life is short, and we're really not entitled to anything here on Earth. We're here to work for the Kingdom of God. Everything He gives us is a gift that He may or may not take away at some point. i.e. a child. The authors of "Bold Love" state, "We will not be free to love until the cliche 'this is not our home' becomes real. .... If I do not anticipate the regularity and tragedy of sin, I unavoidably come to believe this world is my home...... People who see a better home ahead are able to welcome what is not currently enjoyed."

Philippians 1:21-24 states "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know. I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far, but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body." I have clung to this verse so many times and in so many different ways in my life. For a long time as a teenager and young adult, I focused on how Paul wanted to go home with Christ...I longed for Heaven and wanted to escape the hurt of this world. Now that I have children and a family that depends on me, I want to stay here because it's better for me to be here with them than in the comforts of Heaven. I fully understand Paul's dilemma now. I want to stay here to serve Christ through my family as long as I can.

I can be joyful in the midst of tragedy knowing that this is not my home, and I'm only here for a little while. I need to work as hard as I can to further the Kingdom of God while I'm here.

Lastly, the authors of "Bold Love" capture the essence of the Charlie Brown character illustration, "Our central calling is to provoke through smell. It is through us that the fragrance of the knowledge of God slips through the hard, encrusted walls of denial and hatred in others, and beckons the soul to relinquish its fortress to God."

Comfort

The last week has been a very rough, emotional week for me. One of my students' brother died in a car accident, I met my new student who is homebound due to cancer, and we decided this week to file suit with our insurance company because they're refusing to pay for a surgery my husband had. Mark has been busy with the lawsuit and work all week, so when I'm home, I take care of the kids, dogs, house, etc. I'm tired, and I feel like a single parent sometimes. I know that's not Mark's fault..I don't blame him in any way. He's doing what needs to be done, but it's still hard on me.

And I'm so saddened by the lives of my students right now. I can't imagine losing a brother. And I can't imaging having a child in middle school who was strong and healthy 2 months ago and is now stricken with cancer and so weak that even writing a sentence tires her out.

So that said, I found myself several times this week seeking comfort in other things instead of going straight to God. Food, shopping, TV, whatever...it's comforting and makes us feel good, but should we really expect these things to last and sooth our soul for any amount of time? During these times when I feel overwhelmed and need comfort, I should be turning to Him, not my creature comforts. He invites me to "wrestle" with Him and learn how to get what I need from Him, not things of this earth. It's so much easier to get my nails done or have some ice cream than to sit down and talk to God and let Him comfort me. What if it's not enough? What if it's hard? What if He makes me do things I don't want to do? That's all part of this journey, and it is hard. I will "wrestle" with Him and learn how to trust Him instead of turning to the world for comfort.

Struggle

So I've been reading "Bold Love" by Allender and Longman. The last several days, the reading has focused on sin and overcoming sin in our own lives in order to love more fully. If we can see what an incredible gift God has given us in his Son, then our world changes. When I think about the sin in my life and how Jesus gave His life so that I wouldn't be punished, it puts things in perspective. Could I ever love someone that much? My immediate answer is yes, but then I think of how slow I am to forgive very small things sometimes. I don't know. I don't fully understand the role of sin and love, but I'll get there.

I've also been reading about the struggles of Job and Jacob in the Bible. These very different men were both wrestling with God. They were struggling with Him, and God welcomed that. He didn't chastise them for asking questions or battling with Him (Jacob "wrestled" more with God than Job did) because He knew that this struggle was making them stronger, better, more refined, more like Him. The authors of "Bold Love" put it this way, "Job, Jacob, and I have the same privilege - as arrogant and deceitful people, we can wrestle with God, knowing that we will not be destroyed.....I will not be punished - disciplined perhaps, but never condemned." Thank You God that you let me question and get angry and be human and You still love me and forgive me. God honors our struggle with Him.

This is my prayer for me and everyone I know, "I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19.

How to Love

So there are lots of verses in the Bible that tell us to LOVE, but not a lot of verses telling us specifically HOW to love. So I've decided to keep a list going of ways to show my love for my family....simple, everyday things that tell them I love them. If you're reading this and think of some of your own, please add them! I could use all the help I can get.

Ways to show my love for my family:

• Greet them as soon as I come home or as soon as they come home
• physical affection throughout the day (I'm good about this with Tyler and Piper, but not as much with Mark)
• Little surprises now and then (like a little toy or a special treat from the grocery store)
• Let Mark sleep late
• Make a favorite meal or desert
  
• Spend time with Mark at the end of the day when I really just want to go to sleep (one of his love languages is quality time....if you haven't read "The 5 Love Languages," I strongly recommend it!)
• Play a video game with Mark (yuck, but he likes it when I show an interest in what he's doing)

More to come I'm sure...out of time right now!