So yesterday was the first day I actually remembered to pray as soon as I woke up in the morning. It made a difference immediately. Thank You God for that. Then later in the day, I was hurt and very upset with someone. It doesn't really matter who or why, but me feelings were hurt...that's the important part, and that's where I struggle to love someone....when they hurt my feelings. I wanted so badly to run away, to get away from this person. Instead, I went in my room with Piper and prayed for God to heal me and help me be loving despite wanting to just retreat into my shell and protect myself the rest of the day.
After a few minutes of prayer and reading, I emerged from our room, from the comfort of my protective shell and expressed my hurt and frustration. It's extremely hard for me to vocalize to someone that they hurt me, but I did it, and the relationship was healed within minutes. In my readings over the last couple of days, I've realized that "bold love" is not always about "turning the other cheek," or just ignoring the things that hurt you. Sometimes confrontation is necessary to improve our relationships with each other and God.
So God helped me through the day, and I was able to end the day feeling pretty good about making a little progress in my spiritual journey. This is definitely not going to be easy, but I have to remember to pray during those times of hurt and frustration. I have so much more to learn.
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2 comments:
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I think it is a giant help to know that other Christians struggle. I certainly struggle; sometimes more than others. In my journey I want to “pray no matter what,” and I find myself not wanting to pray, but to stay mad or upset or worried. This morning in church, I struggle more in church, (I know that makes no sense.) I was annoyed with a few things, and I didn’t want to pray or worship. I remembered my journey to “pray no matter what,” and so I did. My attitude greatly improved, and I worshiped God, and was able to listen to a great sermon.
Thanks Pam for your encouragement. I'm going to write, "pray no matter what" and post it on my fridge and on my bathroom mirror and in my living room somewhere to remind me to pray!
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