Light Bulb...or maybe not

I am constantly observing other mothers to see what I can learn from them, how they react to different situations and dilemmas. Some are definitely better examples than others. I read somewhere this weekend that children don't need a neat and tidy house that looks perfect all the time; they don't really care about all of those menial tasks that we moms keep ourselves busy doing all day. They want our time and attention. They want to play with us, to laugh and giggle with us. When I read this, I thought, "Oh! I can do that. Forget the housework and just enjoy being with Tyler and Piper. Easy." The light bulb went on....then it went right back off.

It wasn't as easy as I expected. I'm such a Martha....busy, busy, busy doing things: cleaning, laundry, making the beds, cleaning some more, baking treats for people, vacuuming, dusting, brushing the dogs so they don't shed too much, and the list goes on. I want a clean, tidy house, and I assume everyone else in the house does too. While all of those things need to be done at some point, a pristine house at the expense of spending time with my children reading, cooking, playing with play dough, coloring, or walking to the park, is not worth it. My time is much better spent teaching and loving my children through quality time. I understand that.... But it's SO hard to put down the duster and the vacuum. How weird is that?? When I know something needs to be done, I have this unforgiving urge to get done RIGHT NOW. What's even crazier is that when I see other people doing this same exact thing, "doing" instead of enjoying quality time with someone, I am completely annoyed by their stupidity. Another light bulb!! Wow. I pray that God will help me focus on spending more "quality" time with my children and not being so obsessed with keeping a perfect house. This must be fixed!

On a separate note, it's that time of year when we're surrounded by family....lots and lots of family. This used to be the most exciting thing for me about the holidays, seeing family, but now I think it just makes me nervous and stresses me out. I LOVE my family and my in-laws, but I guess I'm one of those people who likes things in moderation. Holidays with our family do not come in size "moderation." They are big and loud and busy and I'm about to have a panic attack just thinking about spending 5 days in Alabama with my in-laws. Oh God, please help me be happy, gracious, and loving. Give me strength, compassion, wisdom, and self-confidence.